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December 10, 2002—Eulogy of Mickey Newman by Rabbi Leonard Rosenthal of Tifereth Israel Synagogue: 

According to legend a certain neighbor, jealous of Ibn Gabriol's genius and accomplishments, killed him in a fit of jealousy and buried his body secretly beneath a tree. The legend continues that sometime after, people began to notice that a fig tree in the neighbor's garden was bearing a particularly large luscious fruit, like none that grew elsewhere. Curiosity was aroused, and the tree was dug up in order to discover the secret of its remarkable fertility. Then it was discovered that Ibn Gabriol was buried there.

The legend teaches, in a symbolic fashion, an important lesson about life: our lives are riper, fuller and more fruitful when they are rooted in the lives of good and righteous men and women, in soil which is enriched by deeds of loving kindness and mercy.  All of life becomes lovelier when it is watered by streams of memory, and fed by the cool springs of recollection and remembrance. Memories of a life of goodness, of generosity, of family experiences enjoyed in common are woven into the fabric of life, and are a blessing to us which remains to the very end of our days (Rabbi Kass Abelson).

And it is such memories that we have of Michael Stanford Newman, who not only accepted life as good, but tried to make it better.

I first met Mickey about 30 years ago, which is around the time that he and Cindy moved to San Diego. In those days, their kids, Stephanie and Richard, were young children.

Mickey was the kind of guy who made an impression on you immediately.  Once you met him, you never forget him. Your initial impression of Mickey was that he had a happy, outgoing, kind and generous personality, with a terrific and positive attitude towards life. Needless to say, one's first impression of Mickey soon turned into a permanent one. With Mickey, what you saw, was what you got. There was never any pretense, never any dishonesty. Mickey truly was, throughout all his years, one of the happiest, kindest, joyous and generous human beings anyone could ever hope to meet. As his nephew, Jeff, said: "Some people are only 50-70 percent good.  Mickey was 100 percent good."

The word that people who know Mickey used consistently to describe him is mensch.  Mensch is a Yiddish word that means human being.  But a mensch is more than a human being.  A mensch is a human being whose very essence is goodness, kindness, respect and love.

Everyone loved Mickey Newman.  His friends are too numerous to count, much less than to acknowledge here. No matter where he went, he seemed to know people and people seemed to know him.  He was a "people person" and a "people magnet."  He possessed a natural charisma, such that if people walked into a room, they just naturally gravitated towards him.  He was at ease with everyone, even strangers, as he soon found ways to engage those he met in conversation.  He was very bright, knew a little bit about diverse topics, and could converse with anyone with ease. If he had any enemies, they kept themselves well hidden.  They were probably too embarrassed to admit that they had a problem with Mickey because they realized that if they said so everyone would know that the problem was theirs!

Mickey was down to earth, had no pretensions, and accepted people for who they were, no matter their background, religion or creed. He had a wonderful sense of humor, loved to listen to jokes, to tell them in return, and make people laugh. He also loved to share bawdy jokes, especially with Stephanie, and they often worked very hard to see who could make the other laugh the loudest. And he was particularly solicitous of Sy (Brenner), and somehow managed to put up with his sense of humor as well!

Especially in business, where it is often accepted practice to exaggerate or deceive, Mickey was unflinchingly honest, trustworthy, fair and ethical. "Never lie" he told his kids. "It's your reputation." He did not pressure his customers, nor encourage them to buy something that was unsuited to them. He was a diligent and hard worker. These qualities, along with his high ethics, earned him a sterling reputation. People were always calling him based on the recommendations of his other clients. He received countless notes from his customers, each and every one thanking him for his help and professionalism.

Mickey's own mother, Clara, of blessed memory, taught him that tzedakah, helping other human beings in need, is one of the most important of all Jewish values. Mickey took her lesson to heart, and devoted his life to helping others. He would give you the shirt off his back, even before you knew you needed it, and even if it left him without a shirt. Most of his generosity, whether it was with the synagogue or with individuals, was done anonymously, one of the highest rungs on The Rambam's ladder of ways to give tzedakah.

His uncle, Sy, made Mickey and Cindy a surprise video for their 30th anniversary. On this tape, over and over again, family and friends pay tribute to Mickey's goodness, kindness and generosity. There is, for example, the newly immigrated Russian couple he helped. He found furniture for them, helped them find jobs, and even co-signed at the bank for them.

Another act of kindness was the early morning baker he befriended at D.Z. Aikens. When Mickey found himself up in the middle of the night, he would drive over to D.Z. Aikens and help this man bake onion rolls. And when the baker died, Mickey penned a tribute in his memory, describing him as a beautiful human being.

Another time, when he learned on television about a woman whose remodel was never completed by a fraudulent contractor, he stepped in and completed the job free of charge.

Still another mitzvah he performed was purchasing an air conditioning unit for someone he didn't even know who was suffering from M.S., in order to make that person's life more comfortable.

Mickey was a faithful member of the daily minyan that meets at the Jacob's Center. The men who attended there daily were his buddies and comrades. In fact, he had recently decided to stop working on Saturdays so that he could attend the minyan on Shabbat. One of his favorite experiences was when the minyan befriended a young man, taught him Hebrew and helped celebrate his becoming a Bar Mitzvah.

As his son, Rick, put it, his father always put himself second to others. He was totally giving and selfless.

Mickey was born and raised in Detroit, Michigan.  He had a good childhood, and was a devoted and dutiful son to his parents, and a loving brother to Stuart, of blessed memory, and Marlene. His family spent their summers at Caste Lake, and Mickey from a young age developed a love of the outdoors, sports and water. He loved to go horseback riding, and when they were old enough, took Stephanie and Rick along with him. He also loved competitive sports, and although he was able to make friends with all people, you had a head start with him if you were a Chargers' fan. He loved cars and boats, and would take you down to the dock to sit on his boat even when it wasn't running, just so he could soak up the sunshine and ocean air.

Mickey attended High School, but before he finished,  he decided to enlist in the Army. He served as an M.P. at Fort Leonard Wood, but did have a few unpleasant experiences while in the service. Nevertheless, after he completed his duty he remained a staunch patriot and was very appreciative of this country that offered his immigrant parents security, safety and citizenship.

After he left the service he worked diligently to pass the G.E.D. and receive his high school diploma. He attended college, and then decided to go into the real estate business. He was very successful, but decided he wanted to work in a field where there was more consistent repeat business, and began selling insurance. He worked for Metropolitan Life, and then came here to build an office and territory, from the bottom up, for Sun Life of Canada. Building something from nothing was one of his many talents, and he eventually decided to go into the building industry, where he was also extremely successful and sought after.

Mickey and Cindy were fixed up on a blind date. Cindy told me it was love at first sight, a love that was to grow and endure through the 37 beautiful years they shared together. Cindy told me that she was immediately attracted to Mickey's sense of humor, his good looks, his kindness and generosity, and his menschlekeit. Mickey was a thoughtful and considerate husband, and there was nothing that was too good or too much for him to do for Cindy.

Mickey and Cindy loved to be together. They enjoyed each other's company, would go out to dinner (Mickey was an afficionado of fine food and fine wine, and, according to his nephew Greg, who called him "Unca Mickey," was a gourmet when it came to D.Z. Aiken's eclairs), to movies, to parties with friends, on trips—including those to visit family, pilgrimages to Israel and cruises.  Their marriage was one that, as all, endured ups and downs, good times and challenges, but no matter what life handed them they were bound and devoted to each other. Theirs was a marriage and relationship built on mutual honesty, integrity and tolerance, as well as love.

Mickey enjoyed wonderful, loving and supportive relationships with his children, Stephanie and Rick, and was very proud of them and their accomplishments. Mickey was a father his children could always count on and turn to for help, advice and support, and he was always there for his children. even when they called him when they were meeting with a client, he always found time to call them back immediately.

Mickey always wanted the best for his kids, and he was always there for them, to pick them up, brush them off, and to set them back on their feet once again. Mickey treasured his children, quevelled when Rick was sworn in after passing the Nevada Bar, after already passing the California one, joked with Stephanie on the phone, and loved to be able to ask her for help installing the latest toy on his computer. He was also delighted that she kept up the family connections in Detroit.

Mickey encouraged his children to live up to their potentials, and to improve not only their own lives but the lives of others as well. He taught them by word and deed to be thoughtful of others and to make their own contributions to tzedakah. He taught them to be proud of being Jews, to practice Judaism, and staunchly support Medinat Yisrael, as did he. Mickey was pleased that Stephanie had joined the same synagogue his family had belonged to in Detroit, the very one in which he himself, as a young boy, had disrupted the wedding of Uncle Sol and Aunt Helen by falling off the rail in the middle of the ceremony!

And when it came to his granddaughter, Clare, who was named after his mother, Mickey was putty in her hands. The first time he saw her, he began to cry.

You discovered all you have to know about Mickey's feelings about Clare if you happened to send him an email. His address was: clarespapa@cox.net. If that didn't suffice, you could look at his license plates: Clare's papa and Clare's granny. That's what Clare called Mickey and Cindy, "Papa and Granny."

Every minute that Clare spent with Mickey was an adventure. They talked together, played games together, and Clare loved nothing better than to climb "Mt. Mickey." Or ride up and down the street with him in San Diego on his riding lawn mower.

The first time that Clare said "I love you" to anyone was when she said "Ano-ee Papa." And although she loved her papa's attention, she was always careful to share it. When Mickey told her: "I love you more than anyone else in the world," Clare asked him "But don't you love Granny?"

Mickey was also happy that Clare was carrying on the Jewish traditions by attending religious school Clare loved her papa very much, and will miss him very much.

Family was everything to Mickey. His immediate family and his extended family. Nothing pleased him more than having his family gatherred around him for special occasions.

Mickey shared a very close and loving relationship with his in-laws, Abe and Leah Corman. Abe and Mickey were more like father and son, than father and son-in-law. They loved each other, and were great personal friends. They spent a lot of time together, and could often be seen sitting side by side in shul. Sadly, Abe and Leah are both ill, and could not be here today. But during Abe's recent illness, Mickey has always been there. Abe lived in his and Cindy's home, and when Abe was in the hospital Mickey went by to visit once or twice a day. In fact, one of the reasons that Mickey was in town when Cindy went to visit Stephanie, was that Mickey had volunteered to stay here to make sure Abe was O.K. That's simply the kind of husband and son he was—a consummate mensch. We all send our love to Abe and Leah and wish them a refuah shleimah.

Mickey was also very close to his uncle Sy and Aunt Resa. They share a lot of time together and many happy occasions. Mickey was particularly proud of the Tallit that Sy gave him and wore it at every opportunity. Sy and Resa told me that Mickey was one of a kind, who always found what was beautiful about people, and helped everyone without being asked, or seeking or accepting acknowledgment.

Mickey was devoted to his own father and mother as well. His father died recently and during the summer Mickey flew back and forth to Florida to visit him, and to make sure he was cared for.  He was greatly saddened by his death.

But it was not the first time Mickey had experienced the pain of loss. He shared a warm and beautiful relationship with his brother, and was devastated when Stuart developed M.S. He did all he could to care for him, and when Stuart died it was in Mickey's arms.

Although heartbroken, Mickey learned a great deal about the fragility of life from Stuart's illness and death. He learned that life was precious, that you have to enjoy every moment you have, live each day to its fullest, and be grateful for every blessing you receive, because none of us know what tomorrow will bring. 

Although Mickey had suffered heart ailments, he was basically strong, healthy and vibrant, and had many more good years ahead of him to be enjoyed with his family and friends.  His death is a horror and a tragedy. It is stupid and senseless. Mickey was not killed by age or disease, or any act of his own doing. He was minding his own business, on the way to see his beloved Chargers, when, at best a careless, or at worst, someone who should not have been allowed behind the wheel of an automobile, ran a red light and slammed into his car.

This act of carelessness and stupidity has stolen a precious human being from our midst. The loss of his family, and our loss, is insufferable.  We are all in sorrow and in pain.

Mickey, however, probably would have wanted us to be philosophical and accepting of his death, and for us to cry, mourn, and then to get on with life. Mickey realized the fragility of life, and knew that no one can control the moment of their death. The key to finding meaning in life was not in worrying about death, but rather making the most out of life.

In closing, I would like to share with you Mickey's own words which he wrote in acknowledgment of a condolence note he received upon the death of his father:

"Death will come to all of us in the Lord's time. We have no way of controlling its practicality... all of us will die therefore

"Death is unimportant. How we have chosen to live our lives is the only thing. The love and good deeds that we leave behind, those for whom we have stopped down in order to give a helping hand up, are what is important. The love that we have shared with our families, that unconditional love of a parent for a child or a child for a  parent. These are the marrow of God's love on earth, and all that is important."

Michael Newman leaves behind a legacy of love and good deeds that will forever stand as his eternal memorial. We will miss him, but always remember him with sweetness, kindness and with a smile.

May his memory always be for a blessing.

And may his soul be bound up in the bond of everlasting life.  Amen..