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Rabbinic Insights:  As Good as Gold
San Diego Jewish Times, July 19, 2002

By Rabbi Wayne Dosick

The life and legacy of Rabbi Dr. Aaron S. Gold, the dean of the San Diego rabbinate who recently went to the Great Beyond, is summarized in a paraphrase of the teachings of the sages: "Get yourself a rabbi who is also your friend."

He was a great preacher and teacher; he was a great community leader; he was a great institution builder; he was a great visionary.

But, the hallmark of Aaron Gold's rabbinate, the core of Aaron Gold's rabbinate is that he truly cared about each and every Jew, each and every human being. When you were with him, there was, for him, no one else but you, there was nothing else but your concern. For that moment in time, you were his entire world.

At your son's bar mitzvah, at your daughter's wedding, at your mother's funeral, at your hospital bed, at your anniversary party, at your moment of triumph or tragedy, Rabbi Gold was with you—fully, deeply, devotedly.  He was your teacher, your mentor, your confidant, your friend, your strength.

In public—from the pulpit, at meetings, in the community—he had a flamboyance that was inspired and inspiring. He had a way of drawing in his audience, taking us into his confidence, inviting us to see his point, learn his teaching, take up his cause, invest in his plan.

But, in private, he was quiet and unassuming, gracious and gentle and, oh, so kind. In his deep eyes was confidence; in his tender touch was assurance. he brought with him the spirit of God, the affirmation of community; the warmth of friendship. With Rabbi Aaron Gold, you were never alone. He was always there to deepen your greatest joy, to buffer your searing sorrow, to stand firm with you in your bleakest hours.

He loved—and brilliantly conveyed—Judaism. More, he loved Jews. He respected and honored you. He served you faithfully. He served you in goodness and righteousness.

And he loved all human beings. Early, he raised his voice and offered his hand in inter-faith relations. He unfolded new understandings and forged new relationships with the Christian community. His personal decency and dignity set the tone for communal discourse.

It was not always easy for him. He came here to a congregation that had been led for decades by a popular rabbi still active in his emeritus status. He was called on to envision and to oversee a move from an outdated—but still beloved—synagogue building to a new site, with all the attendant issues of design, fundraising, interim arrangements, competing needs. His plans and his programs and his positions were embraced with affection, but, often, not without controversy.  Eventually, he was moved toward retirement—far sooner than he was ready, far sooner than he should have been.

More than once, his lack of guile and his trusting nature caused him personal pain and financial setback. His last years, which should have been years to reap the fruits of all his labors, were motivated, instead, not only by his desire to serve, but sadly, by financial necessity. He—like so many others in this community—had been rudely and cruelly cheated by one of our own whom we thought we could trust.

Yet, through it all, he never lost his inner joy; he never lost his joy for life; he never lost his joyous nature.

For, Rabbi Aaron Gold always had two things that sustained him—his great faith in God, and his great love for Jeanne.

We, in this community, were privileged to be the public witnesses to the personal love between Aaron and Jeanne Gold. They were the paradigm of husband and wife—totally devoted, completely selfless, deeply, deeply, in love. There was not a conversation I had with Rabbi Gold in more than 25 years that did not refer to "my Jeanne," and tell of his great lover for her. We all learned what marriage really means by watching them. We all learned what love really means by seeing them.

All of this about Rabbi Aaron Gold would be marvelous enough. Yet, it is even greater—even more of a miracle—when we consider how he came to achieve it.  Rabbi Gold was born into a fervently religious, ultra-Orthodox chasidic family. His father was a revered rav.  Typical of those kind of families in that era, the idea of a secular education was considered bitul z'man, a waste of time, an affront to Torah learning. So, young Aaron secretly went to secular high school at night and surreptitiously studied in order to get a high school diploma.  He was already a young man, with his young family, in his first pulpit as an ordained rabbi before he took one college course. Yet, not only did he earn a college degree; he eventually went on to earn a Master's degree and a Doctorate from the prestigious Columbia University in New York.

We can only begin to imagine what kind of inner strength and fortitude, what kind of personal certainty and focus, what kind of determination and perseverance it took to achieve these incredible accomplishments. Yet we know: it was this kind of character and these kinds of characteristics that motivated and animated Rabbi Aaron Gold, and made him the remarkable human being and rabbi that he was.

In this fast-paced world, communal and institutional memory is often very short. So let me tell you just one Rabbi Aaron Gold story that many may not know, for he was far too modest to tell you; that some, who should remember, may have already chosen to forget. And we know that this story is just one among hundreds that assure Rabbi Gold's place in the annals of San Diego Jewish history.

It is hard to believe that the San Diego Jewish Academy—with its more than 800 students and its new $35 million campus—was once just the dream of a few. More than 20 years go, for what we considered very good reason (and we were right!) a few of us decided that it was time for a non-Orthodox Jewish community day school in San Diego. Against some very serious opposition—including threats to run us out of town—we envisioned and planned and worked. Members of the community began to support us with talk and with promises. But, then came the day of reckoning. For, after all the talk and all the promises, we needed real money to move forward.

On that day, Rabbi Lawson, Rabbi Gold and I went to the office of a prominent member of the community. In his kind, gentle, yet very persuasive manner, Rabbi God made the situation clear: today—not one day longer—the dream of the Academy lives or dies. We left with a generous check, and, as they say, the rest is history. Yet, Rabbi Gold's involvement did not stop there. As you know, the majority of the first lay leaders of the Academy came from Rabbi Gold's congregation, the first site of the Academy classes was Rabbi Gold's synagogue's classrooms.

Many dreamed; many hoped; many worked. Rabbi Aaron Gold created reality.

And that is the legacy of Rabbi Aaron Gold.

Without fear, without guile, and without pretense, but with vision and devotion and assurance, he, quietly and profoundly, did God's work. He called on us to reach for the best within ourselves. As we tried, he held our hands and cheered us on. We were always guided by his wisdom and his insight; we were always inspired by his inherent goodness and his sweet kindness. Most of all, we were always enveloped in his friendship and his love.

Morenu, rabbanu, our rabbi, our teacher, Rabbi Aaron Gold, is gone from this earthly home. And we are bereft.

His soul sits at the right hand of God, receiving the rest and the reward he so richly deserves. And we are glad.

His teachings and his love will be with us and our children and our children's children from generation to generation. And we are blessed.

Rabbi Wayne Dosick, Ph.D., the spiritual guide of the Elijah Minyan, an adjunct professor at the University of San Diego and the Director of the 17: Spiritually Healing Children's Emotional Wounds. He is the award-winning author of six critically acclaimed books, including Golden Rules; Living Judaism; and Soul Judaism: Dancing with God into a New Era.