	San Diego Jewish World 'There's a Jewish story everywhere'

Today's Postings

Shoshana Bryen in Washington, D.C: "World without Israel still would be unpleasant for the Arabs"

Donald H. Harrison in San Diego: "Torah-chology: Mogel blends psychology and Judaism"

Sheila Orysiek in San Diego: "Why Torah bears reading again and again"

Lynne Thrope in San Diego: Sampling San Diego's best chefs' creations at annual Chef Celebration

San Diego Jewish World staff: Three photo combination shows march of Torahs followed by one's unrolling at Tifereth Israel Synagogue in San Diego

The week in Review

Wednesday, October 3

Shoshana Bryen in Washington, DC: "U.S. recruitment of Arabs to anti-Iran coalition must not be at Israel's expense"

Donald H. Harrison in San Diego: "SDJA student activist unrelenting in campaign to alleviate Darfur suffering"

Jay Jacobson in St. Louis Park, Minnesota: (Humor forwarded from internet): "Buddhist philosophy with a Jewish twist"

Bruce Kesler in Encinitas, California: "Columbia and Ahmadinejad: guidelines needed for future"

J. Zel Lurie in Delray Beach, Florida: Real socialized medicine is what takes care of President Bush."

Joel A. Moskowitz, M.D. in San Diego: "Sour and sweet at ‘Davka’ exhibit"

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Tuesday, October 2

Rabbi Michael Berk in San Diego: "Innovative Reform movement has much to teach other style Jews"

Garry Fabian in Melbourne, Australia: "Queensland Jewish community devising plan to involve the unaffiliated in communal life" ... "Learning Centre on tap for Carmel School in Perth" ... "Suzanne Rutland book celebrates 40th anniversary of Jewish Communal Appeal"

Donald H. Harrison in San Diego: "In bar mitzvah year, San Diego Jewish Book Fair stays up longer, broadens horizons"

Barry Jagoda in San Diego: "Bar Kamza story in Talmud provides inspiration for UCSD arts project"

Monday, October 1
Shoshana Bryen in Washington, D.C. : "Does Bush's international conference require concessions only from Israel?"

Donald H. Harrison in San Diego: "Are people really kind? Pat Feldman is so sure they are, we can bank on it!"

Alan Rusonik in San Diego: "Three recommendations for changing Jewish education."

Sunday, September 30
Judy Lash Balint in Jerusalem: "Pain and gain during Sukkot"

Donald H. Harrison in San Diego: "Seven sukkot of eastern San Diego and a first grader's question for Moses"

Joe Naiman in Lakeside, California: "Diamondbacks skipper Melvin a member of the Jewish community"

Isaac Yetiv in La Jolla, California: "An S.O.S. for American democracy"

Saturday, September 29
Donald H. Harrison in San Diego: From Shiloh to Shiloh to Shiloh

Sheila Orysiek in San Diego: 'Separation of Church and State' not a true constitutional doctrine

Friday, September 28
Donald H. Harrison in San Diego: "Bar/bat mitzvah receptions become increasingly high tech/ high cost."

Donald H. Harrison in San Diego: Book review: The Golem: Man of Earth by Howard Rubenstein

Archive of Previous Issues

Simchat Torah!

Top Left; Congregants of Tifereth Israel Synagogue paraded Torahs tonight through the social hall in celebration of the completion of the Torah reading cycle. Top right: Jennifer Tabak Levy and husband Yiftach Levy hold two precious cargos: a Torah scroll and their daughter Hadarya. Bottom: Adults of the congregation unfurl the entire Torah so that children may preview what will be read in the following year.

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The Jewish Citizen
by Donald H. Harrison

Torah-chology: Mogel blends psychology and Judaism

The Blessings of a Skinned Knee by Wendy Mogel, PhD, Penguin Compass Books, 300 pages, $14.

SAN DIEGO—Clinical psychologist Wendy Mogul started making Judaism a central focus of her life well into her adulthood, bringing to its study a trained academic mind. Her outside knowledge also was enriched by years of experience counseling parents on how to deal with the stresses and strains of wanting to raise their children well.

Converts, Ba’al tshuvahs, and for that matter, almost all people who learn religious precepts as adults, have a distinct advantage over those who had the same precepts spoon-fed to them while they were children. Whereas the latter accepted the information uncritically or with indifference, adults eagerly grapple with the concepts of Judaism, testing them against the lessons they have learned from other arenas. This process can result in the formulation of new ways of understanding old subject matters.

In Mogel’s case, we have a hybrid book—one that quotes Torah and Talmud while at the same time drawing upon her clinical experience. Mogul’s advice on “using Jewish teachings to raise self-reliant children” is wide-ranging, but the namesake chapter of this book suffices to provide the flavor and some of the insights offered by this book.

Mogel is scheduled as the speaker Monday evening, Nov. 5, at the 13th Annual San Diego Jewish Book Fair, to be held at the Lawrence Family JCC, Jacobs Family campus. Information on the entire lineup of speakers may be obtained by clicking on the fair’s logo within this article.

First, here is Mogel drawing on some of the issues she has dealt with as a psychologist:

When Dustin’s teacher won’t allow him to be in the school play because of his C grade in English and his mother promises to go talk to the principal, telling Dustin, “I don’t see why she’s making such a big deal out of one C,” she’s giving him an unrealistic impression of the world. Dustin’s college professors, colleagues and employers won’t be creating special rules just for him. When Ellie’s feelings are hurt about not getting invited to Mimi’s birthday party and her dad offers to call up Mimi’s mom to try to find out why, he’s teaching her that missing out on a party is a catastrophe that deserves special intervention. When we treat our children’s lives like we’re cruise ship directors who must get them to their destination—adulthood—smoothly, without their feeling even the slightest bump or wave, we’re depriving them.

Now, here comes the Judaism:

Those bumps are part of God’s plan. … In the Jewish mystical principle of tsimtsum we can find a lovely spiritual model for slowly relinquishing control over our children. Tsimtsum means ‘contraction of divine energy.’ Originally everything was God; God filled up the entire universe…So in order to make a place for the world, God had to withdraw a bit. At first God stayed close by us, his new and vulnerable creations to provide help as needed. When we were trapped by the Egyptians, God parted the Red Sea; when we were hungry in the desert, there was the miracle of manna from heaven; when we were thirsty, god provided water from a rock. God was a day-by-day, sometimes minute-by-minute miracle maker. Later as we matured and were able to manage on our own, God withdrew further and made fewer miracles. Left to our own devices, we humans took lots of false steps. But we learned from our mistakes and became a resilient people….

Next, of course, comes the lesson, framing child-rearing problems in a new light:

Like God, new parents are miracle makers. When children are tiny babies, we vigilantly monitor everything that goes into their mouths and comes out their bottoms. We make sure they aren’t hungry or thirsty, and we provide constant protection and care. But as our children mature, we need to withdraw from smoothing their path and satisfying all their wishes. By giving them a chance to survive some danger and letting them make some reckless or thoughtless choices, we teach them how to withstand the bumps and knocks of life. This is the only way children will mature into resilient, self-reliant adults. By continuing to make miracles on demand, we are unwittingly slowing down the development of our children’s strength.

Mogel combines secular and religious wisdom similarly throughout the 300-page book, which includes sections on recommended reading, a parents’ discussion guide, and an index. Here are some of the other chapter headings, dealing the kinds of blessings parents don’t always consider:

"The Blessing of ....

“... Acceptance: Discovering your unique and ordinary child”

“... Having Someone to Look Up To: Honoring Mother and Father.

“... Longing: Teaching Your Child An Attitude of Gratitude.”

“ ... Work: Finding the Holy Sparks in Ordinary Chores.”

“... Food: Bringing Moderation, Celebration and Sanctification to Your Table.”

“... Self-Control: Channeling Your Child’s Yetzer Hara.”

“... Time: Teaching Your Child the Value of the Present Moment.”

“... Faith and Tradition: Losing Your Fear of the G Word and Introducing Your Child to Spirituality”

To learn more about the Agency for Jewish Education, please click on this ad

World without Israel still would be unpleasant for the Arabs

By Shoshana Bryen

WASHINGTON, D.C. —Despite the push for a Palestinian State, it isn't "Palestine" the Administration is seeking. It is, rather, unified regional - Arab and Israeli - opposition to the nuclearization of Iran and Iran's export of terrorism and missile technology.

In that worthy quest, Secretary of State Rice has returned to the early days of Bush 43 and to its antecedents in Bush 41. She is listening to Arab leaders (mainly the Saudis) who say they would just love to help us, but as long as Palestine is occupied, their "street" just won't permit it. In the spring of 2001, Vice President Cheney and then-Secretary Powell toured the region to gin up support for dealing with Saddam and the crumbling 10-year-old sanctions regime and "no-fly zone."

They came home with the understanding that Israel's occupation of "Palestine" stood in the way. The 2006 Baker Commission report on Iraq said the same thing - the Arab states would just love to help us stabilize Iraq, but the occupation of Palestine was the real problem.

If America could just solve the Palestinian problem, it would be so much easier for everyone. Except that it isn't true.

The United States can't solve the Palestinian problem and neither can Israel. Which is not to say the Administration can't pressure Israel into doing dangerous things; or that the Israeli government won't choose to do dangerous things, only that those things won't solve the problem. Only Palestinians can solve the Palestinian problem. They have to acknowledge to themselves and their people that they (or the Arab states on their behalf) made a mistake in 1948. They have to accept that the creation of Israel was not a mistake by the international community; that Israel is a permanent, legitimate part of the region. They have to abandon the idea of eliminating Israel by attrition or by waiting for another country to do it in - Iran or any other.

Until that happens, and we are not holding our collective breath, the problems of the Middle East will have to be approached as they are, not as they would be if Israel wasn't there or if Palestine was there.

The Saudis, Jordan and the Gulf States are worried about Iran. So are we.

The Syrians are worried about Sunni jihad.

Lebanon requires concerted Western help, including sealing the border with Syria.

Egypt is frozen between an ailing Mubarak with no successor and the potential rise of the Muslim Brotherhood.

The Palestinians are split between the corrupt, secular Fatah and the Iranian-backed, religious Hamas - both violent and repressive.

Iraq's borders need to be controlled on both ends.

None of these crucial problems would be any less so with the addition of a corrupt, terrorist-supporting Palestinian state in the region. Iran requires an Iran policy and the neighbors would be well advised to get on board while there is still some time to pursue the diplomacy the U.S. wants/needs to pursue.

Bryen is director of special projects for the Jewish Institute for National Security Affairs

Why Torah bears reading again and again

By Sheila Orysiek

SAN DIEGO—One cannot go to Torah Study very long without becoming aware of particular phrases that are repeated many times to teach us a lesson, set a standard or inculcate a moral response. Such phrases as: “Remember you were a stranger in the land of Egypt” or “Love your neighbor as you would love yourself” or “Honor your father and mother.” Each of these seems a simple enough lesson on the surface, but Torah Study also quickly teaches us to go beneath the surface and there we find complexity and multiplicity of how these concepts are applied to daily life.

This is also true of the phrases we can all remember from our earliest childhood which were meant to help us grow up safe, strong and responsible. Like “what goes around comes around” or “early bird catches the worm” “think twice before you speak.” Sometimes the advice was aimed at a specific activity like camping, “only you can prevent wild fires.” Or if walking in the woods, “never come between a mother bear and her cubs.” This last one I must admit I never understood. Who, I wondered, would be so stupid as to come between a mother bear and her cubs? I could just picture myself walking along a trail and seeing ahead of me the bear family and saying “Excuse me, Mrs. Bear, but I want to get by here,” and then as I walk by give her a shove as I kick the cubs. Surely common sense would tell one to avoid this particular situation. But Torah study has since shown me that what seems obvious is not always – well - obvious.

One pleasant morning some years ago I was walking along a favorite woodland path - the Hazelwood Nature Trail - in Sequoia National Park. I was looking forward to sitting on my favorite log and reading a book. The day before I had sat on that log and spent a considerable amount of time watching the carpenter ants hard at work on a downed Giant Sequoia tree trunk. It would take an immense amount of effort on the part of the ant colony to destroy that tremendous bulk of wood. Did the ants have any conception of just how large this trunk was, I wondered? But “the longest journey starts with the first step” - another catchy phrase. In Torah Study I feel much the same, tiny steps into a huge bulk of learning.

While I was deep into my philosophical musings I heard a twig snap and looking up saw ahead of me and slightly to the right of the trail not one but two small bears. I stopped in surprise and watched them but then to my left I heard a very deep growl. With growing fear I looked in that direction and saw a large mother bear. Without any warning I had walked in between a mother bear and her cubs. That’s how it happens - the bears don’t always walk closely together but many yards apart and they are not readily visible. And they don’t walk in a straight line or in a steady direction.

I stopped dead in my tracks. I had no idea in what direction they had been going and I did not want to make any move that would further alarm the mother. She was only a few yards away when she turned, rose up on her hind legs and fully faced me. She was now considerably taller than I. She audibly sniffed the wind for my scent while her front paws were waving in the air in front of her. Then she went to a tree and proceeded to sharpen her claws. There was not much I could do. She was faster, stronger (probably smarter) and very angry. I just froze in place, afraid that any move that I made would only irritate her and that she might take it as a threat to her cubs. It wouldn’t make any difference, there was no way I could defend myself. So there we stood.

The two cubs continued to stroll along poking their noses into bushes and around tree roots. The mother looked at them, and then she looked at me and only very slowly turned toward the babies and ambled reluctantly after them. She stopped several times and turned around to watch me. I never moved. My heart was beating rapidly and I tried to control my breathing. Ever so slowly the bear family moved off. I waited quite a while till I was sure the bears were well away.

So, now I know that one doesn’t have to be stupid to find oneself a mother bear and her cubs. But, one also shouldn’t